


Trouty Mouth is back in town

by Hiphopyogalesbian



Category: Glee
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:02:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25802554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hiphopyogalesbian/pseuds/Hiphopyogalesbian
Summary: This is the utter crackship / totally canon at one point story of how Santana Lopez and Sam Evans fixed their friendship, with meddling from their friends. It doesn't go quite as Rachel Berry expects.
Relationships: Sam Evans/Santana Lopez
Kudos: 5





	Trouty Mouth is back in town

**Author's Note:**

> apologies I have no clue how to construct a story.

Sam wasn't sure how he exactly agreed to this but Rachel talks so much that he ended up agreeing to make her be quiet. It was also true he hadn't really spoken to Santana in a long time, things were sort of still a bit awkward between them. He was sure she still super hated him for dating Brittany, even though her and Brittany ended up together and then broke up anyway. Also Blaine was his best friend other than Puck and hadn't seen him since he moved to New York. Rachel's opportunity or invitation to come and stay with them prompted him to find a job which he was incredibly excited about. Sam was ready for his big move, travelling light was his thing anyway and when he arrived he began to feel nervous. It wasn't the new life, new job, big move or anything not even the thought of sharing an apartment with 4 incredibly clashing personalities- okay maybe that a bit but it was seeing her again Goddamn Santana Lopez. Santana didn't love the idea of Sam moving in, when Rachel had told her she had ranted for at least 20 minutes about Sam coming to New York to piss her off and probably star in toothpaste commercials with his giant mouth but she came around when she realised having someone around who didn't enjoy the same things as Rachel, Blaine and Kurt would be quite nice. When the day came for Sam to move in Santana huffed about the apartment, getting dressed up for no reason in particular well ok Sam Freaking trouty mouth Evans was moving in and she was all kinds of conflicted about it. Rachel Berry was really kind of annoying, blabbering on about burying the hatchet and friendships and muttering something about singing about it or whatever. Santana drew her attention to Blaine, he was packing Bow ties and hair gel into a suitcase and she glared at him like he had lost his mind. "I don't think salamander lips is going to steal your bow ties warbler" she questioned, meanwhile Kurt sauntered in the room - I mean he's so annoying, like we all know he's gay he doesn't have to prance everywhere she thought. "Didn't Rachel tell you, tomorrow's the big Broadway cruise" Kurt cheered full of glee. "That literally sound's like the worst thing I've ever heard" she retorts. "Oh Santana, it's going to be one week of me singing Broadway classics on a luxury cruise ship" she beamed with pride, Santana wanted to throw up. "Not just you Rachel" Kurt tusked sassily as he went to answer the door "Mr Evans has arrived, welcome home come in" Ugh Kurt the suck up host Santana glowered. "Sam" Rachel beamed as she hugged him, followed by Blaine who said nothing but just hugged his best friend close.  
Rachel sighed "SANTANA" she shouted shrilly and Santana acted like she had been shot  
"too loud midget too loud" she groaned before acknowledging Sam's presence

"So nice to see you again froggy lips, I noticed the other day that the New York aquarium was all out of fish. Guess it's just in time you packed all your belongings up in your ginormous mouth and moved on up here to save the day", Kurt and Rachel looked horrified, whilst Blaine was trying to hide his amusement. Sam burst in to laughter and just hugged her, she protested for a short while but gave up and hugged him back. Sam always secretly loved it when Santana greeted him with a barrage of insults, remembering the time she was one of first people to welcome him back to Glee club after he left town. Sam let her go and she wandered off to the kitchen to make a drink, rambling on about how the city could use his giant mouth as a parking lot.   
He settled in, sorting his room space out and making it sort of homely, Santana walked in without knocking or asking permission to come in with something in her hand. It looked like a giant poster rolled up, she handed it to him with a smug smile on her face. He unrolled it and started chuckling "Thankyou Santana", it was a picture of Santana's lips during the Glee clubs production of Rocky Horror, only Santana he thought. "Just a friendly reminder that I owns the top spot for the best lips and I didn't wants you to forget" and with that she blew him a kiss and walked away, maybe things between them would be ok he sighed, obviously putting the poster up.   
Santana couldn't wait for them all to leave for the stupid Broadway cruise thing and to be all alone. She pretended to be sick that morning when they left just so that she didn't have to see them all being so annoying and to save them all from being punched by her. Rachel was obviously irritating and got into bed to give her a 'snuggle' before she left and wished her better, Santana didn't mind it at all but would deny it. But mostly Santana breathed a sigh of relief when she heard the door to the loft close and she was finally alone. She was going to take the longest shower ever.

Santana stepped out the shower, rejoicing that she couldn't hear either Kurt or Rachel wailing to some showtune or that the bathroom didn't smell flammable due to the amount hairgel Blaine thought looked great. Slipping on a pair of black pajama shorts and vest she sauntered out into the living area smug at the sound of silence, until she noticed the body sat on the couch. Santana rolled her eyes immediately without a thought and her lips formed a half hearted sneer  
"trouty" she questioned arms folded in mock defence  
"hey Santana" Sam smiled widely as he usually did when he saw Santana even if he rarely got a smile in return. He seemed unfazed at her antics which annoyed her more, she clicked her fingers in front of his face to distract him from whatever crap he was watching on the TV  
"why aren't you on the floating gay Broadway cruise with the warbling trinity?" she scowled at him, Sam sighed, she was exhausting already but he gave her a small smile anyway because well actually he can't help it  
"Does that sound like something I'd be into?" he said smirking with one raised eyebrow that currently Santana wanted to automatically shave off with annoyance. Santana admitted defeat quickly much to Sam's surprise and she huffed and flopped herself dramatically onto the couch next to him narrowly missing his lap, Sam laughed he knew she wasn't geniunely really that irritated by his presence but he knew with Santana Lopez that it was best to play along. Sam being very Sam like put his arm around Santana and squeezed her into his side, she protested for a few seconds before relenting and he almost thought he heard her laugh.  
"Get off Budget Bieber" she chuckled quietly enough so she thought he wouldn't hear, he released his arm but ruffled her hair just to annoy her more without a second thought Santana slapped his hand away.  
"Jeez it's like making out with Quinn Fabray" Sam said in mock annoyance, to which Santana couldn't help but geniunely laugh, a sight he actually thought was the most beautiful thing to see.  
"And yet she slept with me twice" Santana winked proudly as she got up to rummage through the dvds on the shelf, throwing the one's not to her liking on the floor, leaving Sam aghast as what seemed like dozens and dozens of dvds been thrown around the loft.  
Sam cleared his throat and tried not to laugh at the crazed woman in front of him  
"Erm what exactly are you doing?" he asked puzzled, Santana glared at him his quizzical look reminding her of Finn trying to tell the time or something.  
"trying to find something for us to watch guppy lips" she retorted, Sam's whole face lit up at the suggestion of 'us' and smiled at her which she couldn't work out if it pissed her off or if it made her want to return the smile - God he was really annoying, sort of.  
"I have the perfect film" Sam continued to smile with a glint in his eye that Santana automatically hated.   
"careful you smile any bigger with those gigantic lips and you might swollow the whole room up" clearly Santana had been writing perfect insults for Sam again in her little book.  
Sam said nothing and just walked through to Santana's bedroom without seeking permission, he briefly glanced back to see how horrified he knew she would look. Rummaging in one of her drawers he begun to search what he was looking for, interrupted by the fiery dark haired girl flinging her arms around and shouting obscenities in Spanish. She had clearly totally forgotten that he actually spoke more than adequate Spanish and understood perfectly what she was saying.  
Sam held a dvd in his hands extremely satisfied with himself, he waved it in her face for her to see  
"NO ME GUSTA" she pointed a finger in his face as she tried but failed to sound intimidating, wait was she really as small as this? Sam thought she always seemed taller somehow. He lifted the dvd higher so she couldn't reach and pointlessly she tried to jump and grab it from his hands  
"quit it Samuel" she barked and Sam began to uncontrollably laugh and handed her the dvd "did you just full name me?" he chuckled  
"couldn't think of a mouth joke under pressure fish face" she scoffed. She stared angrily at the dvd  
"this isn't mine, this is Rachel's old scented candle drawer it must be hers" she lied her words tailing off during the sentence  
"So Rachel has a thing for wonder woman?" he replied whilst trying to hide his laughter by tucking in his lips a little.  
"Ok fine I have a thing for wonder woman, stop trying to hide your lips trouty they are still blindingly big" Santana added somewhat sourly but without any malice.  
"you know I remember a time where you wanted to kiss these lips Santana" he said nonchalantly whilst bending down to rummage once again in the selection of dvd's. Santana was taken aback by Sams unusual boldness but she felt her stomach flip a little when she thought about it, ugh why am I blushing she mentally scorned herself.  
"Well I was dazzled by your big lips that took up most of you face and couldn't see that you weren't a girl!" she said weakly eyeing Sam's findings from her belongings.  
"yeah yeah whatever you say Santana" he said handing her the dvd's  
"and I was totally trying to get back at Quinn that week" she added pointedly  
"Are you going to make us some food Santana? because I'm going to need a lot of snacks to get through this lot" Sam said flatly but with a slight smile forming on his face.   
"The dark knight trilogy?" she questioned pretending she didn't know that the dvd's in her hands were hers.   
"I know your a secret dork Santana, Puck tells me you play video games once a week over videocall and as much as you used to mock my dorky jokes you clearly understood every single one" Sam said planting a kiss on her forhead and walking off to the kitchen leaving her completely aghast. Obviously Santana Lopez throws something with not much venom at all towards Sam as he walks away, this is going to be the longest week of her life. 

Santana had agreed to make them both fajitas, she turned away from making the salsa to scan the room for Sam- I mean she hadn't seen him in a hot minute and was kind of suspicious at how quiet the place was. She caught him setting the table with cutlery, candles and what looked like werid floral props from a Vogue photoshoot Kurt worked on. She watched him with utter disgust or slight amusement depending on which of her personalities you were asking as he did a dance.   
"Hey trouts what's with the magic sex dance?" she hollered at him amused, he whipped himself round and continued to dance, shimmying himself towards her grinding in the air and trying to get closer to her  
"You want me to strip or?" he laughed playfully tugging at his open plaid shirt- she threw a handful of tortilla chips at him that she knew neither of them would be bothered about picking up. Sam was incredibly close to Santana in this moment and she was aware that he may of caught her staring at his abs, she swallowed a lump of air in her throat and looked up at his face.   
"I've seen quite enough thankyou, do your shirt up for dinner" she stepped back pretending to recoil in disgust. He rolled his eyes Santana style and finished setting the table, he lit the candle on the table and poured wine into the glasses, Santana eyed him suspiciously  
"whats with this?" she suggested dramatically at the table. Sam stood next to her putting his arm around her shoulders again, she didn't even flinch she almost instinctively wanted to wrap her arm around his waist but thought better of it.   
"Two adults having a grown up dinner together Santana?" he replied innocently   
"It looks kinda sexy trouty" she pouted, face sullen but smirking at the same time.   
"well I tell you what Santana you never even gave me the honour of a real date when we dated" he laughed ruffling her hair to her annoyance and putting the dishes of food at the table.   
"oh is this what this is Evans, you come all the way to New York to woo me?" she scathed with absolutely no attempt to hide her increasing laughter.  
"I came to New York to start a new life for myself and so that you wouldn't be alone whilst Rachel played third wheel at the Broadway cruise thing" Sam was laughing along with her and at the thought of Kurt, Blaine and Rachel singing show tunes on a ship 24/7.  
"Im fine being alone" she sulked  
"Okay well Kurt didn't think it was ok for you to stay alone in New York, and honestly I wouldn't love it, besides Rachel was going to either call Puck or Quinn and Blaine wanted to call Tina to come and stay with you" Sam was trying to get her to warm towards the idea that this situation was a good idea.  
"those are all horrible ideas, I love Puck he's my bro you know but he still tries to stare down my top every 10 minutes, Quinn either wants to slap me or sleep with me and im tired of working out which and Tina is tolerable but only because she co wrote the music to trouty mouth" she sighed.  
"oh yeah that musical phenomenon" he tried to look annoyed as he looked at Santana as she began to burst into several lines of the song, recreating her passionate hand movements and all.   
"that's it" Sam grabbed the tiny brunette and flung her over his shoulder, he ran round the loft with her whilst she squealed loudly but with such joy-well in between insults. He flopped her down on the couch when he thought she'd had enough punishment and went to go finish plating up dinner when she grabbed his shirt and pulled him ontop of her. Santana hadn't anticipated her own strength and was surprised when Sam's body was flush to her own. Santana breathed deeply for what felt like forever and stared up at him, Santana had to admit to herself she had always felt attracted to Sam and been extremely fond of him, which is why it hurt so deeply when he dated Brittany. Santana was just desperately trying to snap out of her inner gay or not so gay crisis but was bewildered by the blue or were they green eyes in front of her. She decided to deflect, poked her tongue out at him and slapped his butt and then lightly pushed him off her  
"got ya trouts" she winked and pulled him along to finally sit and eat.

They ate in comfortable silence for a while, Sam doing the odd dorky face that made Santana stare at him in some sort of unsure manner whilst he found himself mostly hilarious. Santana broke the silent room with only something she would say  
"so why are you in New York Evans? going to be a big time big apple stripper?", Sam nearly choked on the gulp of wine he just put in his mouth. "I mean look at me" he gestures smugly to his body but then switches to a more serious tone to actually answer her question appropriately  
"but I'm here to work, start afresh, I have a new job with a record company in the city. Small time stuff at the moment, helping out and maybe getting some opportunities to play my guitar for some recording artists".  
Santana looked at him almost in awe, she couldn't help it- definitely the wine making her drop her normal antagonistic front she thinks, nothing to do with Sam's charsima or his distracting pretty face.  
"That's pretty amazing Sam, you've been so brave coming out here and doing that, plus you singing with your guitar is just pure Bieberesque magic ". Sam adjusted his eyes so he could really read her eyes-God she had sexy eyes, he almost thought she was geniunely complimenting him.  
"ok one you just called me Sam, two you were actually just incredibly nice to me with no agenda and 3 I haven't had bieber hair in forever". Santana rolled her eyes and bit her lip, she looked a little uncomfortable but had the most incredible shy smile on her face.  
"Look Guppy face you have talent, more than just taking off your shirt, which I'm not going to deny makes me feel a little something in my lady loins but I like it when you just sing with your guitar, it's real and raw." She stared at him with such intensity it would frighten Sam if he didn't know her better, but this was Santana and he knew what this look meant but he wasn't about to push it. So he deflected the seriousness of the atmosphere by teasing her, getting up to jokingly straddle her in her chair singing some God awful Justin Bieber song that she would deny even liking. She was hystericaly laughing, Sam loved it when she let her guard down like this, and happy care free tipsy Santana was way better than drunk, hysterical Santana.  
"Oh my God STOP" she shrieked holding her hands over her face which she knew would be blushing  
"I'm just warming up your lady loins Ms Lopez" he laughed at himself, as she softly and playfully slapped him away  
"seriously I hate you" she exclaimed unconvincingly as Sam went back to his own chair, leaving Santana's lap empty.  
"Too Bieberliscious for you babe?" he sang to the tune of Bootyliscious by Destiny's child.  
"Always did have a thing for Blondes" she tormented in his direction, Sam smiled and shook his head, he doesn't know what was up with her but he definitely liked it even if it made him feel extremely nervous.  
"ah yeah, Me, Brittany, Dani, Quinn, Puck dressed as Lola, you clearly have a type"  
he said smoothly making himself comfortable on the couch.  
"Don't go a changing I say" Santana exclaimed as she came to sit beside him.  
"Don't I get any space from you?" he whined teasingly as he gently nudged her, Santana wiggled herself purposely so she was even closer on the pretence she was getting comfy.  
"Pfft keep your boyband hands to yourself Aerosmith lips, I don't fall for the old stretch and arm around my shoulders crap" she exclaimed in such a pointed way she could of been Santana from Glee club all those years ago.  
"oh damn that's my best move, other than my Avatar impressions" Sam tutted pretending he was bothered.  
"I used to 'date' Puckerman the old arm round the shoulders was an excuse to grab my boob" She rolled her eyes, and honestly Sam wasn't sure how they didn't hurt from doing it so much.  
"now would I do that?" he shrugged softly  
"No in actual fact I'm pretty sure I was the one who used to grope you, such a shame we never you know" she fluttered her eyelashes slowly giving him a look that could only be described as pure Santana, a half sultry smirk. Sam was now panicked, he and Santana have always had this weird, love, hate- flirty but geniune frienship or brief romance but he was starting to think her flirting was increasingly real and if Santana Lopez meant something you were incredibly screwed.  
Within 20 minutes of starting the movie Sam felt a tickle on his neck and then the small weight rest upon his shoulder. He looked down to see a tumble of luxuriously dark hair laying on him. He felt his body temperature rise a little and his stomach flutter, her smell was utterly intoxicating - God he wanted to kiss her forehead. Instead he was reverting back to slightly awkward Sam the one who had no absolutely no game even though he had briefly almost dated every girl in Glee club. His hand was resting awkwardly by his side and he just gently raised it to give Santana's thigh a friendly squeeze and a gentle slap. He heard the comfortable girl whine a little  
"whatcha doing Bieberliscious?" she groaned sleepily, Sam inhaled a laugh  
"making sure you are awake, which you clearly aren't because A you are being cuddly and B you didn't insult me again".  
Santana wriggled herself off her resting position on his shoulder to sit up and try to face him. She waved her finger in front of his face  
"no me gusta, I do not cuddle" without a moment to think about what he was doing he gently bit the offending finger in front of his face.  
"YOU DID NOT??!!" she shrieked before falling into a fit of uncontrollable laughing, setting Sam off in the process  
"Im gonna have to get a rabies shot right now, come on douche bag your gonsta pay for this" and with that she grabbed his hand and pulled him from the couch towards their coats and outdoor shoes. Sam had never laughed so hard in his life, he was being dragged through the loft by the completely enraged latina and he just let her, until he decided to gently pull her towards him so he could get a hold of her.  
"you are insane Santana" he said hysterical at the mood at the whole situation  
"you bit me" she tried to argue whilst pouting and holding out her fingertip like a child with a booboo.  
"I can't control what these lips of mine do" he said without full realisation of the implications of what he just said. With his unintentional pointed remark Santana raised herself onto her tip toes and pulled down Sam's face towards her own and planted a disgustingly wet, sloppy kiss on his lips. Santana was cackling like a maniac when she took her lips from Sam's leaving him absolutely aghast and pretending to hate every minute. In a rushed moment he snatched Santana's cell phone from her pocket, touching her butt briefly  
"hey" she pouted as she tried to claim it back, Sam stood on one of the kitchen chairs to get away from her and dialled a telephone number

"Is that Rachel Berry speaking? "  
"obviously Santana, wait this isn't Santana this is Sam, is everything ok?" Rachel sounded panicked  
"Santana is being a pain in my ass" he said looking down towards the offending girl smugly, she flipped him off.   
"Erm Sam it's been a day if that, what's going on?"  
"Sam bit me" Santana shouted towards the cell phone so that Rachel could hear  
"Yeah well you slobbered on me" Sam retorted  
"Are you two adults or dogs?" Rachel replied quizzically, frustrated at their lunacy  
"Guys this sounds overly dramatic and extremely childish, work it out" Blaine added down the call. Santana mouthed the word Wanky to Sam making him laugh  
"Whatever Blaine you use hair gel as contraception" Santana argued back, causing Sam to try and stifle a laugh and put his hands across Santana's mouth to shut her up.  
"No Santana don't lick my hand you are disgusting" he moaned snatching his hand away.  
"I don't mean to be rude but im going to tell Rachel to hang up on you two perverted individuals, work it out" and With that Kurt had hung up the call.  
"Wanky" Sam said casually as he walked off to go and sit back on the couch, making Santana smile geniunely that he used her word. Santana threw herself in an armchair dramatically, arms folding and huffing, throwing her head back and no doubt rolling her eyes Sam thought, She really was absolutely hilarious- Sam thought right now she looked adorable even if she was trying to look furious.  
"I hate all of them and you" she said moderately loud for attention  
"No you don't, and you don't hate me you never have" and Sam wasn't even sure what he meant by that last part, Santana took a mental note of that but somehow she was giving the game away as she smiled softly and looked down, softening her stance in the process.  
"I actually don't hate you, I've never been able to, for some reason my stupid warped brain likes you" she sighs admitting defeat  
"pfft whatever you loved me the minute you first met me" he half joked. Santana panicked, she thinks he's joking but she suddenly realises that her behaviour towards Sam all these years is starting to make sense, she actually did Love him. Brittany was her first love a literal angel but as amazing as it was something always felt wrong, Brittany never pushed her buttons and Santana craved that. Brittany just adored her for who she was and that was incredible but not enough to keep the spark alive. Quinn had been a one time brief fling but Santana began craving someone who could challenge her like Quinn did, Dani didn't quite fit that either even though she was sweet. Puck was just sex, sure they had a laugh now and were super close but he was never romantic. Sam was sweet and kind and always saw the good in her, but he also pushed her buttons, challenged her and pissed her off a whole lot. Also she had to admit, as much as she always teased him for his looks, she did find him incredibly hot- oh crap I'm in love with Sam she panicked.  
"you haven't washed the slobber off your lips trouts" she spoke literally for something to say, Sam watched her expression and thought about his response, he was going to take a chance.  
"maybe I don't wanna" he answered lowly in controlled manner that she had never heard before, she kind of liked it, screw it she thought I've had wine I'm going to go for it and blame the wine.  
"you wanna come over here and say that?" she taunted confidently but terrified inside, oh it was way too late now. Sam bit his lip and went over to the armchair she was sitting in, he paused in front of her almost to silently gain her approval, she held out her hands to lightly fist at his shirt and pull him forward. He gently raised his knees to straddle her with his legs either side of hers on the chair, she wasn't sure whose lips made the first connection but it felt electric. Sam was literally dying and alive all at the same time, this was simply the best kiss of his life and his hands were going crazy alternating being gripped in her beautiful hair or cupping her face, but this chair- yeah it was uncomfortable.  
"Santana this chair is ruining my vibe where the hell did it come from?" Santana looked super annoyed and still turned on at the fact he had stopped kissing her   
"I got it From the Dumpster" she smiled super proud of herself   
"Yeah I don't think so" he exclaimed as he scooped her up bridal style and took her to her room and laid her on the bed gently. She grabbed at him, softer than when she used to back when they 'dated', he resumed kissing her and every sense inside his body felt alive.   
"Get your shirt off" she panted tugging at it and throwing it on the floor   
"Can I?" he asked quietly as she nodded and he removed her pajama top. His kisses touching what felt like every inch of skin shocked every nerve inside her body, it felt explosive   
"you are so annoying" she said almost inaudible   
"Yeah yeah whatever babe" he murmured into her skin, and this moment where Santana Lopez had found her match and she felt glorious. "I need you" she mustered up the strength to utter as she almost completely relented into Sam, she felt utterly boneless and like she was in a dream and yet the utter passion running through her veins was electric. He was so close to her and yet not close enough, he needed to be inside her and he considered himself a very patient man. Santana was not a patient woman and yet exploring each others bodies like this was the hottest moment she had ever experienced. 

Santana wasn't sure exactly how she could come down after that orgasm she had been blessed with but she knew she was exhausted. Sam lay beside her absolutely dazed and struggling to keep his eyes open, he was treated with a gentle slap on the chest  
"Move Aerosmith lips" and a small shove across the bed   
"hmmm never had you down as an after sex snuggler Santana but give me a minute I'm kinda done in" he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, she pouted in process and mustered the energy to sit up and look at him   
"No spooning me" she demanded, allowing him to get a little closer again   
"okay no spoons" he assured her getting comfortable so he could sleep. Santana laid back down and sleep came to Sam quickly but no quicker than a pair of arms wrapping around is middle and a body curving into his own sleeping position.   
"Shutup" she murmured   
"didn't say a word pillow princess" he murmured back knowing he would get a reaction immediately. Santanas hands pinched his nipples quickly to retaliate   
"owwwwww" he wailed, maybe it wasn't a smart move to tease her  
"I am not a pillow princess, I was just in a daze by your white chocolate butt and ginormous mouth doing things to me" she sulked causing him to move so he was laying on his back again   
"and it was clearly the best time of your life" he joked looking pleased with himself anyway. Santana wasn't a sappy person, okay maybe she was when she was with Brittany but nobody else saw that side to her, she had a reputation after all but something in this moment felt sappy even after Sam just made a crude comment. 

She tenderly kissed his lips and caressed handfuls of his hair that she loved to make fun of but actually thought was super hot. When her hands weren't in his hair she stroked parts of his body that she wanted to feel a little better. Sam felt a little starstruck, she was so tender and almost loving and yet she was the most passionate person he'd ever met let alone been with intimately. He felt like a teenager again, making out with the hottest girl in school, except he was a grown ass adult and he was rekindling with the one he always considered to be 'the one that got away'. It broke him when she mysteriously broke up with him, okay so their 'relationship' started to cause a little trouble but he actually geniunely liked her. He loved that no matter how much she insulted him she didn't mean it and he loved the way she smiled at him, a smile she only really used for Brittany. He knew eventually that their relationship failed because Santana was struggling with her sexuality and she was hopelessly in love with Brittany and even though he supported her 100% he was always a little bit cut up about their break up. Dating Brittany had been a mistake he knew that, they were never really more than good friends but he cared for her endlessly, but wasn't in love with her. Sam wondered deep down if he dated Brittany to unconsciously get back at Santana and it certainly worked, but then he was more upset that he had hurt Santana deeply. Part of him had truly come to New York to see if they could finally settle their differences, seemed that somehow Santana seemed to no longer be angry with him, like she had actually forgiven him a long time ago.  
Sam tried to take control of the heated make out session but Santana pinned his wrists down and sexily manoeuvred herself ontop of him. Sam's inner monologue of forgiveness and feelings and hurt soon was cut off by Santana atop of him, he sighed deeply and gently placed his hands on her hips.  
"You are so fucking hot you are killing me" he groaned deeply trying to compose himself  
"Im going to show you I'm no pillow princess" she said seductively, Sam Evans could of happily died right in this moment.

Sleep had encompassed them at some point and they both slept tangled in a weave of limbs, hair and comforter. They were rudely awakened by Santana's cellphone ringing loudly, Sam flung his arm out accidentally grabbing one of her boobs making Santana smirk enormously  
"and you say I have a big mouth" he whispered teasing her. She picked up the cell and threw it back down groaning  
"It's that bobby socked dwarf" she announced moodily, Sam laughed and whispered to her to answer the call.  
"What Berry? I'm extremely busy" she snapped and she caught Sam wriggling his body and mouthing 'busy doing me' out of the corner of her eye- she slapped him, he blew her a kiss.  
"I just called to check in, I miss you, how's Sam are two back to being friends or is one of you dead? namely him since I'm talking to you" Rachel spoke quickly, God she was a motormouth.  
"Nobody is dead Berry, we're cool, how's the gay Broadway cruise?" Santana asked hoping she would hurry up  
"It's incredible Santana, I've never had such a wonderful time" Rachel went on for several minutes, a lot of rambling about lady Hummel singing some Judy Garland number and Blaine probably slipping on deck in a puddle of hairgel (ok so she made that bit up but it sounded true).  
"Sounds amazing Rachel, how is Bowtie coping with the constant changing in wind direction out at sea?" Santana asked trying not to giggle  
"What I don't understand, hang on let me video call you" Rachel said with far too much excitement for Santana's liking. Santana answered eventually after trying to quickly make it look like she hadn't been having a lot of sex and then sleep for hours.  
"Woah that's too much face Berry" she smiled at the screen, geniunely  
"sorry let me back up, Heya, oh look at your face I miss it so much, oh gosh you look so pretty, are you in bed? you look glowing" Santana swore blind that Rachel was constantly on speed  
"Berry you are so extraordinarily gay" she deadpannned  
"oh hush Santana, im allowed to tell another girl she looks hot" Rachel said cheerily  
"how's Sam? " Blaine shouted as he appeared on Screen  
"Oh I'm fine by the way bowtie" Santana flipped him off and he just blew a kiss back.  
Sam unexpectedly moved his face so he could be seen on the video call, Santana's face became awkward but tried to hide it  
"Sam is fine I am" he said with a completely dorky yet satisfied look on his face, Santana unexpectedly pushed him playfully off the bed onto the floor, suddenly remembering he was very naked and that he could be seen on the videocall  
"hey guys" Kurt appeared on the call to be met by the image of Sam just fallen to the floor  
"oh my God a penis" Kurt shrieked, Santana couldn't contain her laughter and threw him a cushion even though it was way too late to contain his modesty. Blaine was trying to compose himself but was hiding the biggest smirk Santana had ever seen  
"hey Sam, Buddy, how you doing?" Blaine said completely losing his control as he watched Sam trying to get back into bed next to Santana.   
"What exactly is going on here? why is Sam naked next to you in bed?" Rachel asked horrified, over animated as usual  
"this is horrible, I feel scared, what I have I seen?" Kurt almost cried  
"You two are such prudes, what does it look like they have been doing?" Blaine sighed with a mixture of utter bewilderment and excitement  
"But" Rachel went to clearly rant but Santana cut her off  
"oh but what, Santana's supposed to be a lesbian, Sam's annoying a little dim blah blah, they don't like each other, well you all left us alone and we had sex and I liked it and I wants to do it again" Santana ranted. Sam tried to contain himself but failed "my magic mouth was too much to resist" he exclaimed as he watched a horrified Kurt on the screen.  
"well I'm not entirely sure I completely understand but I support it" Rachel said softly  
"I'm living for this combination, sexy as hell, works like a charm, you've got the whole love hate vibe, loving it" Blaine clapped his hands excitedly.  
"lady Hummel control your bundle of hair gel will you?" Santana rolled her eyes  
"This is utterly delightful, I do hope you haven't fornicated on any shared furniture?" Kurt asked sourly but with a look of happiness in his eyes  
"Just the dumpster chair" Sam said satisfied  
"You people are absolute garbage" Kurt exclaimed before waving and walking away from the screen.  
"We gotta go honeys but I'm totally in love with you two right now" Blaine blew a kiss at them both before running off to join Kurt.  
"You two are so adorable, I always thought you had such chemistry when you weren't you know fake fighting about anything, anyway I'm off to sing some Barbra now, goodbye" Rachel squealed with excitement.

Santana looked relieved and pulled Sam closer to of all things snuggle. She felt so content and so hungry, she whined at Sam to go make some breakfast for them. Santanas phone buzzed with text messages

[Nude Directions Group Chat] 

[Rachel] Oh my god guys the plan totally worked Sam and Santana are friends again  
[Quinn] oh that's amazing, I knew they always secretly cared about each other  
[Puck] They totally banged right?  
[Tina] PUCK!!!!  
[Blaine] Tina don't be so uptight, they definitely did  
[Artie] I thought Santana was a lesbian?  
[Brittany] She once had a sex dream about a shrub, don't hold it against her   
[Kurt] Dear God  
[Finn] This could of gone so wrong  
[Rachel] but it didn't and now they are totally in love I can feel it  
[Mike] that's what Mike Chang likes to hear  
[Mercedes] I'm pleased for them I really am

well Santana was fuming, that little dwarf had planned her and Sam having to spend time together so they would make up, and now Rachel had accidentally exposed herself by sending it to the wrong group chat.

[Santana] you are so busted hobbit  
[Sam] way busted

and with that Sam and Santana sat at the tabke eating their perfect breakfast in their own little bubble of contentment. He watched Santana wash the dishes and it all felt so suburban and wholesome and my God he loved it, this is what he wanted. He swallowed a breath he didn't know he was holding and wrapped his arms around her from behind, she practically melted into his touch. He could see her smile reflected in a glass, that very smile she only used for people she loved, crap she loves me Sam panicked. Santana moved her head to kiss him softly  
"Yes Sam, I'm in love with you" she said in the most Santana like way he'd ever heard  
"is that so?" he teased kissing her this time  
"yes it's that stupid floppy Bieber hair, and those greeny blue eyes, oversized sexy lips, those downright awful impressions, your dorky hobbies, the way you pick up a guitar and sing like whisky and honey all at once, oh and the magical sexy dancing that sets me off. I hate that you can read me like a book and that your so intuitive and emotionally intelligent even though you think your dumb. You aren't your so smart and talented and Kind and you've never once been awful to me not really and you know what you make me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. It's really quite annoying at how you make me feel and" Sam cut her ramble off by gently placing his finger on her lips to shush her  
"Santana I love you too" he smiled removing his finger to kiss her.  
"Whatever Sam" she playfully taps him and grabs him to go and sit on the couch  
"You called me Sam again" he laughed  
"well I gots to stop calling you trouts" She said bashfully  
he pulled her in close to wrap his arms around her  
"don't ever change baby" Sam whispered  
"Gross did you just call me baby, I hate you" she scolded  
"No you don't" he booped her on the nose  
"you do that again Aerosmith lips and I will bite that finger clean off, I'm from Lima heights and I will ends you" she ranted. Sam rolled his Eyes, honestly she was starting to wear off on him and pushed her down gently so she was laying and kissed her, she relented almost immediately, absolutely loving the dominant side of Sam.  
"Mmmmm, what we doing?" She muttered  
"do you need sex education?" He chuckled  
"no fornicating on the couch Kurt will go crazy" she panicked  
"let's do it to piss him off" Sam smirked, wow it was the most attractive thing Santana had ever seen.  
"They really did play us didn't they? let's do it everywhere in this apartment" she suggested  
"you are disgusting" he said dramatically but clearly joking  
"and you love me" she teased  
"yes I do" he said scooping her up and taking her to Rachel's bed,  
"Oh Berry's bed I like it, the most action it's ever seen" she chuckled as her and Sam got down to business.  
In all honesty Santana thought this would be the absolute perfect way to repay Rachel for her genius meddling. Sam was just happy to play along for the ride, because that's what the best thing about Santana was. Always expect the unexpected and it was perfect.

**Author's Note:**

> *I don't mean to discredit Santana's sexuality in anyway this is just a crack story of two characters that work well together and totally headcannon as being perfect for one another if Santana wasn't a lesbian.


End file.
